PDA

View Full Version : December Entry UNC-134.B



jtougas
12-09-2010, 07:28 PM
"Beep Beep Beep.." Commander Carol Mayer shook herself out of the daze that had come over her. Too much looking out of the view screen at nothing had made her almost drift off. "Damn survey missions" she mumbled under her breath. She took a quick look around to see if anyone had noticed her lapse. On the console in front of her was a small screen that showed a bluish green planet some two light years ahead. Superimposed over the image was the survey probes initial assessment it read:

Planet Name: UNC-134.B
Classification: UNC (Unclaimed)
Approximate Size: 1.12 Earth
Gravity 1.12g
Atmospheric Class: Earth like
Lifeform Class: Undetected
Usuable Resources: Yes

Assessment: Further Investigation is Recommended....

Carol smiled for what felt like the first time in months. FINALLY there was a planet that maybe, just maybe would fit the requirements of the company, and she could get back to Earth and out of the coldness and loneliness of space. She watched the planet slowly rotating and couldn't help but notice a chill on her skin....

Now I'm not sure if I know what I'm doing here and the map came from that snippet of story there that came unbidden to me while I was looking at some of the other entries. I know I'm NOWHERE near as skilled as the people that normally enter the "big" challenge but I thought I'd give it a shot anyway. This is the first time in any medium that I have drawn a planet.. Be kind.. :)

###LATEST WIP###
31320

jtougas
12-09-2010, 11:29 PM
Commander Mayer scanned the newest probe data while her first officer hovered over her shoulder. "Damn it" She thought to herself, "This rookie is going to have us all out here for weeks if I let her send that report. Anomaly my a**." Even as she said it she wondered if she was trying to convince her X.O or herself....

Small Update

Added some labeling and a "shallow water" effect.

###LATEST WIP###
31322

mearrin69
12-10-2010, 01:51 AM
Looking good...and your stories are cool as usual. Think your rivers are in violation, unless I'm misunderstanding the terrain.
M

Greason Wolfe
12-10-2010, 10:23 AM
Well, you seem to be off to a good start so far. As for whether or not you have the skill for a "big" challenge, I wouldn't worry too much about that. We all have different skill levels and these challenges are a great way to improve on those skills. As the saying goes, "No pain, no gain."

GW

jtougas
12-10-2010, 03:44 PM
Commander Mayer returned from breakfast to discover that the survey computers "auto-name" function had been triggered. The program was used to make the writing of reports about various regions of the surveyed planets easier, Mayer hated the program. the names it spat out were invariably English sounding (it had been written by a British officer) and the names hardly ever bore any relevance to the landforms being named. "Steady now girl." She mumbled to herself it was early and there would be plenty more to complain about during the course of the day, no use using it all up on the auto-name program. She also noticed her small bridge staff circling around the science monitor. Looking at her "master" monitor she noticed that the resource allocation data had been processed during the night. She took a deep breath and prayed to herself "Please no Nexium or Uranium" If either one of those were found in any significant amounts the company would NEVER let her go home.....

Thanks for the feedback M and GW I removed the rivers for now.

I added place names per the above story blurb and also added resource "data" I also added a "sun" and the light effects to go with it.

###LATEST WIP###
31335

jtougas
12-10-2010, 05:34 PM
Lunch came and went with still no response from the company survey office. Commander Mayer felt her mood go from foul to worse. "Of course there's no response girl" she said to herself, "There all too busy counting their money and patting each other on the a**". She took a deep breath and looked out the view screen once again. Deep down inside of her lurked a scientist and even 10 years with the company had not managed to rip it completely out of her. She had to admit it WAS and interesting planet. Large land forms dotted a light blue sea. She could see the bowls of gigantic calderas that rivaled the size of any in the claimed galaxy. Her inner scientist was just starting to emerge when comms chirped. "Okay girl" she said to herself "let see what these a**holes think..."

Hmm..the story is better than the map I think.. :) But I'm having fun with both and learning some new stuff along the way so I'm good. I added a moon (mostly because I figured out how to make a sphere) and I added a "cloud" effect to the background to give it that "space" feel..As always feedback is requested and appreciated.. Thanks!! :)

###LATEST WIP###
31346

Jaxilon
12-11-2010, 10:08 AM
I haven't read the whole thing because I've been a little preoccupied lately and I have to take off in a few minutes but the planet seems flat. If it was darkened around the edges it would look more spherical which I think would be a good thing for this. Or you might just make a sphere and use it as a merged texture behind/above it to get the rounding effect. It is also possible that you already have this well in hand. :) Like I said, I'm zipping out in a minute and haven't been able to read the whole thing.

jtougas
12-11-2010, 04:59 PM
Carol Mayer shuddered at the cold recorded voice of her supervisor. "Commander Mayer planet UNC 134.B will hereby be renamed Valkos all reports form this time forward will be forwarded to company security and to this office." "Damn." she said aloud now they had NAMED the damn planet there was no leaving now she was to take orbit and continue the scans until the landing team arrived in two weeks. Her supervisor had been especially interested in the life form report and wished it to be repeated. Not that the presence of life in any way would hinder the company's plans to strip this world of all it's available resources. Mayer shuddered again but she was not quite sure why.....

I added a border although I think I might try something else more "view screen" looking I also followed Jax's advice about the sphere

###LATEST WIP###
31397

jtougas
12-11-2010, 06:06 PM
Commander Mayer sat in her ready room watching planet UNC-134.B slowly spin beneath her. She refused to call it "Valkos" to give it a name made it real and the fact that she would be stuck out here indefinitely could NOT possibly be real. She wished she didn't need the money so bad. She could just go back to her farm (or what was left of it..) and raise a few animals and drink herself to oblivion but she knew without the money this survey mission would bring none of that would happen. And to make matters even worse (as if that was even possible) the survey computer had revised it's initial assessment of the life form classification. Now it seemed that there might be life here after all. Mayer knew what the company did when they found life on one of these worlds, if it was non-intelligent they mostly left it alone, but if it was sentient all bets were off and Mayer had no desire to be present at ANOTHER genocide....

I think I might be done with this I'm sure I'll find a few things to tweak and fiddle with but overall for my first "planet" it's pretty good. Now I realize who and what i'm up against in this challenge and to be honest I knew going in that I had almost no chance BUT that's not why I did it. I got to try something new and learn some stuff along the way as well as (hopefully) entertain you with a good story... :)

###LATEST WIP###

31431

Sapiento
12-12-2010, 09:37 AM
Cool idea!

ravells
12-12-2010, 03:40 PM
Love the story (again!). Maybe call the planet Helot (hee hee). It's an interesting presentation: the background is photorealistic and the map is stylised, but I think it works. I wonder whether having an atmospheric haze (blue outer glow or something) might work with it?

jtougas
12-13-2010, 05:44 PM
I think this might be the final product. I added a inset map for a little detail. I've had a lot of fun working on this and the story that goes with it thanks everyone for the feedback and kind words.. :)

###LATEST WIP###
31446

jtougas
12-30-2010, 02:25 PM
Carol Mayer knew she was in trouble. She had ignored repeated orders from her supervisors to resend a updated survey report on planet 134.B. She knew what they were looking for. The life-form reports had changed almost daily. It seemed that 134.B harbored multiple species at least one of which might very well be intelligent if not particularly advanced. She knew it was only a matter of time before the company sent another survey vessel to the planet commanded by someone with less conscience. And she had just learned that Interworld Energy CEO Parker Northrup was on his way from Earth. "Well girl" she said to herself. "You've really done it now" She just knew with every fiber of her being that she had to find a way to stop the extermination of Valkos..

Not much of an update but with the deadline looming here it is. I added a more pronounced outer glow and brightened up the stars a bit.. :)

###LATEST WIP###
31893

jtougas
12-30-2010, 11:44 PM
The comm station beeped once again and once again Carol Mayer ignored it. Long range sensors had picked up the "Vision" Interworld CEO Parker Northrup's personal shuttle. He would be here in less than a day. She had no doubt he had a full and complete picture of the situation on Valkos. And she also had no doubt that the USMG bombers wouldn't be too far behind. She had seen long scan photos of the small settlement where the life-form readings were highest. Primitive humanoids lived in what looked like hide tents while some kind of livestock milled around. Mayer was amazed. It was the first time she had ever seen extra terrestrial intelligent life. She knew these people had no chance against Interworld Energy and the United States Military Government. And neither did she.....

Here it is slightly cleaned up I hadn't noticed how"fuzzy" everything was. :)

###LATEST WIP###
31908

Jaxilon
12-31-2010, 03:40 PM
I think I liked the slightly darker globe but it's a minor thing really....the kind of stuff I agonize over far to much in my own work (which is only an issue with digital because you can play forever with that crap).

This does look like what might come from a shipboard computer. I did wonder why the Periodic table (http://www.bing.com/browse?g=periodic_table_of_elements&ve=records-%280024%29&qpvt=periodic+table+of+the+elements&FORM=SGEWEB#toc=0) wasn't used for Gold and stuff but that brought me to Nexium which from my search is the purple pill, hehe. I guess you'd have to make something up for anything that was imaginary.

jtougas
12-31-2010, 03:46 PM
I think I liked the slightly darker globe but it's a minor thing really....the kind of stuff I agonize over far to much in my own work (which is only an issue with digital because you can play forever with that crap).

This does look like what might come from a shipboard computer. I did wonder why the Periodic table (http://www.bing.com/browse?g=periodic_table_of_elements&ve=records-%280024%29&qpvt=periodic+table+of+the+elements&FORM=SGEWEB#toc=0) wasn't used for Gold and stuff but that brought me to Nexium which from my search is the purple pill, hehe. I guess you'd have to make something up for anything that was imaginary.

I think I did the last rework just to get a bit more of the story in there. I didn't use the real periodic tables just because I tend to make up everything in my head and I tend to be wildly inconsistent with that sort of thing. And I just plain forgot that Nexium is a heartburn medication..oh well the name sounded cool.. :)

Jaxilon
12-31-2010, 04:09 PM
I'm with you on that. Who has time for all that real business anyway? This makes me think that I should start making my own Periodic table for use in my games. How fun would that be? I'm always coming up with names for stuff, I should start keeping track of it. Besides, you are right, Nexium sounds like the next great discovery doesn't it :)

Diamond
12-31-2010, 04:18 PM
Besides, you are right, Nexium sounds like the next great discovery doesn't it :)

Right up there with Unobtanium. :D