View Full Version : October Entry: Risky Business

10-18-2009, 12:38 AM
Alright little Background:

Map is of a time in our galaxy after humans have become intergalactic. Only two species have been discovered The Vermith Union and Kragar Empire. This particular map is for a human Captain of a trade ship that also deals in illicit smuggling operations. On top of this due to the war and the shear volume of traders, it is very dificult for an indipendant captain to make a living. So our Captain here also looks for new sources of trade goods and material.

### Latest WIP ###

10-18-2009, 01:13 AM
First of all, cool avatar. Love Mass Effect and that particular alien species (Turian?) is cool as all get out.

Second of all, I like the map a lot. How do you get such cool looking asteroids?

If I had any critique at all, it would be the fun house swirl for the central accretion. Just my own opinion of course.

10-18-2009, 02:40 AM
The numbers in the chemical formulas should be subscripts, although that may be impractical due to software limitations. In the upper right hand text: "Gama" should have two "m"s. "Dock&shuttle" is missing spaces around the ampersand. Capitalization is a bit random; I recommend going over the whole thing to consider changes.

"Analysis" has the "y" and "i" switched in the text in the top middle. In the same text area, "continuum" is missing a "u".

The asteroids are indeed visually appealing, although unrealistic. Very George Lucas.

It certainly captures the theme of the challenge and handles the difficulty of a "space map" well by focusing on routes. I'm liking it.

10-18-2009, 06:14 AM
Looks good. My nitpick is that the green text isn't always very readable. Especially in the center of the image. Otherwise, pretty darn cool!

10-18-2009, 12:10 PM
K I'll work on the Spelling problems, Being dyslexic makes these mistakes common the Capitalization issue however is a problem I have that I am unsure where it came from thanks for pooring over the text.

I'll see what I can do bout the asteroids...

The Chemical formulas are hard to impose Subscript due to Software limitations. But I'll work on this as well.

Green text I will see if I can find a different color for this. or play with the background over lays to see if I cant get a better contrast.

10-18-2009, 02:13 PM
Here's the next version

Played with adding a backlight type thing on some of the text, Edited the text to 1. correct the things pointed out, 2. consistant in the titles used.

Found a way to make subscripts in gimp. it involves making two text layers one for the normal script the other for the supscript. You have to play with the spacing and lay out a bit but it seems to work a bit.

Changed the "Fun house swirl" to a hazard patern. subsequently changed the oppacity of the label to fit better.

Lots of playing with the Detritis picture.

### Latest WIP ###

10-18-2009, 02:49 PM
Cool. Definitely going in the right direction. I have a few more suggestions for appearance and a few more spelling corrections (yes, I am a compulsive copy editor).

Upper course plot: "position" has one "s". (Two places)

Center bulletin: Remove extra letters from "battling", "operations". I also think the "Read More?" would look better if you distinguish its appearance in some way. If not actually made into a button, perhaps it could be given a glow or something?

Bottom galaxy: "Accretion" is the correct spelling. Also, I think exclamation points for this warning text would liven it up a little.

The composition could be improved. The galaxy seems crowded on the right side by the intruding text box. It looks like there is room to move the cargo information up a little to avoid cutting into the galaxy's personal space. In contrast, the rest of the galaxy has quite a gap above it. If this is dedicated space in the display for the central text box, I would extend the background for that box down. Otherwise, you've got some empty space that would probably be filled somehow. Ad banner? Fuel gauge? Software update availability notice? Stock market ticker?

10-18-2009, 02:50 PM
This is looking pretty good :)

Found another typo for ya ... "Acretian" in the center should be "accretion" assuming you mean it as in the accretion disc around a new star.

10-18-2009, 03:09 PM
Like the caution lines for the center better than the swirl. Can you adjust the angle slightly so it matches the plane that the galaxy is on? I'll leave the spelling errors to others to find.

I really like the map. Hope to see how it plays out.

10-18-2009, 10:23 PM
Thanks a bunch guys I'll work on the sugestions... And thanks soooooo much for the spelling corrections. I usualy run things by my wife but here school and work take the majority of her time now adays.

10-19-2009, 11:45 PM
Ok so this will unfortunanatly have to be the last update for the comp. I have to go to the armory tomorrow and probaly will not be back until after the deadline. Any who here it is you'll see that I played with stuff alot and came out with this.

Wanted to draw the eyes to the map itself a little bit so geospacial emphasis was laced by centering it. Added in some artistic things to give mor Ambiance to the map. Worked with the perspective of the Accretion Overlay. Fixed alot of places that where talking about the same race with different names.

### Latest WIP ###

10-20-2009, 01:13 AM
Oh yes. Nice job on the hazard zone, throwing the perspective in there really makes it stand out in a good way.

I'm liking this one..

10-20-2009, 01:47 AM
Angling the hazard stripes did even more to improve it than I'd have expected. I also think you made a good decision in moving the map to the center. It made it more central and you have a much more balanced composition now. Still some spelling issues, which don't pass quite so easily as they would on a "hand-drawn map", but I don't think you'll be judged down on that basis. If you decide to keep working on it after the challenge, I'd be willing to go over it carefully and help you get it letter perfect.

Good work!