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Tear
03-08-2010, 06:24 PM
Sorry about being so quiet lately.

You know, usually, you probably wouldn't even bother to write a note to an Internet forum if something bad happens, but in this case it's different.
You guys made me feel so welcome here that I kind of feel obliged to tell you what's wrong. So here we go.

Last year my mother died. It was terrible, but it was no surprise. She had cancer.
Actually, she put up a really good fight, and kept going much longer than any of us had even hoped.
She was a strong human and a fighter, she had always been.

When she was gone, I felt kind of empty. I tried to flee into all kinds of distractions. I'm not saying mapmaking is a distraction for me, it is and always will be a passion. Let's just say I had one more reason to do it.

What else did I do? Well, first of all, I took care of my father. He never was of the helpless kind, but when my mother died, his world collapsed.

We washed his clothes, we baked cakes, you know, all those little silly things you can do even though you know it's not enough.

My father died a short while ago.

Just to let you all know why I'm not on that much anymore.

Sorry, I don't want to drag anyone down. I just want to let you know what happened.
I have a commission to finish here and I plan to do so.
I just want to let you know why it takes so long.

Redrobes
03-08-2010, 06:28 PM
Wow Tear thats such a bummer. Numbed !

NeonKnight
03-08-2010, 06:46 PM
Sorry to hear. You have my profound sympathies

Viriatha
03-08-2010, 06:46 PM
Man. Do well and come back when you can.

On a less empathic note:


She was a strong human and a fighter, she had always been.

I immediately got a mental picture of my mom in armor with a sword. Man, I am such a geek ><

torstan
03-08-2010, 06:56 PM
That's terrible news and I am very sorry. This forum isn't going anywhere and we'll all be here when you come back. I hope you're finding a bit of time to look after yourself as well as those around you.

Coyotemax
03-08-2010, 06:58 PM
Tear: Of course I can only speak for myself, but I know that a lot of people around here like you, and enjoy your company - but I just want to say that we're here for moral support at the very least, if you need to vent or let go, you're welcome to. Life gets rough, and you're getting a double dose, and that's never easy. Hang in there dude. But first and foremost, do what you gotta do for yourself and your family, that's more important than anything.

TheMarcus7
03-08-2010, 10:45 PM
As someone who's been through what you have, all I can tell you is that the pain never really goes away, but you learn not to notice it, and eventually, it doesn't hurt so much. Find joy in what you can and know that whatever you do, they'll always be with you in some way.

.TM7

Clercon
03-09-2010, 05:33 AM
I'm very sorry to hear. I hope you do alright. Loosing someone close is never easy.

Steel General
03-09-2010, 06:55 AM
Sorry to hear that, my sympathies go out to you and your family.

Take whatever time you need, we'll be here when you're ready to come back.

Sapiento
03-09-2010, 10:26 AM
I'm sorry to hear this. It is always hard to loose someone you love. And it takes time to overcome such a loss.

I hope you will be back soon and give us more fantastic maps.

Sigurd
03-09-2010, 10:36 AM
Hey Tear,

I hear you. I still want to see you do more maps, when you're ready.

You've done some excellent work. I really appreciate what I've seen.

Some internal journeys you have to walk alone.

Make sure you eat, sleep and see the sun.


Sigurd

ravells
03-09-2010, 11:24 AM
I'm truly sorry to hear of both your losses, Tear. I hope things improve for you and that will take time. As others have said, we are not going anywhere, but if you need a little distraction from the real world, then the CG is always here.

jaerdaph
03-09-2010, 02:21 PM
I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your parents, Tear. :( You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Gandwarf
03-09-2010, 02:33 PM
Woa Tear... that's some bad news. Thanks for taking the time and sharing this with us. This is indeed an incredible community.
I hope (actually I am sure of it) things will improve for you. A lot!

Greason Wolfe
03-09-2010, 06:35 PM
My sympathies as well. It's not an easy thing to lose someone you care about, let alone two someones. Walk that journey you need to walk and know that we'll be here when you get back.

GW

Jaxilon
03-09-2010, 07:28 PM
Sorry to hear about your loss. I always enjoy looking at your maps as they are among the best to be seen. I look forward to seeing more when you have the time and energy for them.

In the meantime take what you need to heal the wounds as best you can. I still miss my dad and this is over 20 some years later but it is not as heartrending as it used to be.

Letting us know why you are not around as much is a kindness on your part and as our hearts go out to you, we thank you for it.

Rythal
03-09-2010, 09:42 PM
prayen for you and your family, I know that empty feeling... it really is a downer.

Without a doubt your always welcome here.

arsheesh
03-09-2010, 10:09 PM
My hear goes out to you Tear. My wife will keep you and your family in our prayers.

AutumnRain
03-09-2010, 10:12 PM
All my blessings to you and yours!

Ascension
03-10-2010, 07:59 AM
I've been without internet for a few days, grumble, and I come back and feel like the last guy out of the burning building :) I'll add my condolences to those of the others and say also that, it takes time but don't let it become an obsession. Be sad, it's okay. But also make sure to take some joy out of nieces and nephews and smelling the roses n stuff.

silverhead
03-10-2010, 05:07 PM
Wow. What can I say.

My father died seven years ago (of cancer, too), and due to things he left unattended it's been a hard ride for my family. But though it's hard for a time, one day you get up and it doesn't hurt anymore. You don't forget, but it sort of softens and you can think about it without feeling a hole in your chest.

So, in short, you'll get better, and we'll be here waiting. Take your time.

Tear
03-10-2010, 06:01 PM
I don't know how many times I started to write a reply to this thread.

It always came out wrong.

So this time I'm just going to say that I appreciate all your kind words more than you can imagine.