And Thanks Viking
New update : increased the size of the left cartouche shields, added the timeline with the depiction of the main events in the right cartouche and added a very few icons on the map related to those events. I know there's probably a lot of languages mistakes left on that depiction so if ever anyone wants to help fixing them that would be great
I want to kidnap you, SK, and vorro, stick you into a Dr Frankenstein blender-machine, and create UberCartographer. Every time I see an update from any of you, I'm like "Squeeeeeeeeeee!", but THIS one is really awesome. Now I'm gonna have to get all fanboy and try my own version of this type of look...
"I like a look of agony, because I know it's true."
Just reading through the last two paragraphs, I'd change them as follows:
Foundation of the Baronny of Frayker:
The religious wars that divide supporters of the Cult of Katlin and of the Cult of Fray rage in northern areas of the Kingdom of Skalig. To end a situation that may permanently weaken the kingdom, the King assigns a portion of lands of the baronnies of Segvor and Jornog to the Fray's faithful, who found the Baronny of Frayker.
Foundation of the Slaczek of Kysk:
...... Lord Marek of Krosny offers him his daughter's hand and gives him some lands in the north of the Slaczek. The King allows Horald to set a new Slaczek in these lands.
I haven't read through the rest, but mainly just watch your tenses... as you tend to slip between present and past, and I'm guessing you want it all in present.
It is a fabulous map! If I drool on it will you let me keep it? Just kidding.
Ohhh my goodness, this is an absolute stunner! And very clever, too. With a lot of maps, you spend a few minutes admiring it and then you think ‘oh, that was nice’. But other maps pull you in by telling a story. That’s what you’ve done here. When I read the sidebar, I just wanted to spend more time looking at it and cross-referencing the timeline with the places on the map. It’s the map that keeps on giving!
And your English is fantastic. Unfortunately, inviting someone like me to give grammar correction is like waving a red rag at a (cuddly) bull, so here goes (WARNING: The following contains boring grammar explanations).
The first sentence under ‘War of the Wolves’ is a bit wild. It starts with a participle clause (Taking advantage…), but there’s no subject (I don’t think you mean the troops or the Kingdom of Mehren). Basically, with participle clauses the subject should come directly after the comma. For example…
CORRECT “Being an English language teacher, Jim knows a lot about grammar”. Jim is an English language teacher, so he goes after the comma.
INCORRECT “Being an English language teacher, it’s easy to spot other people’s grammar mistakes (but never his own!)”. Although you can probably understand it, this sentence is not seen as correct because ‘it’ is not an English language teacher!
There’s a bit more explanation here if you’re really interested.
Back to the point. I think I can see what you want to say. Maybe: “Taking advantage of the weakening of the Kingdom of Mehren, Drask [pause], with his troops led by Haredeth Dokan and Walbor Wolf [pause], invades Conlanshire and Elhenshire in order to get access to the sea and his eternal rival.” Here, Drask becomes the subject, but then you end with ‘get access to his eternal rival’, which is a bit weird. Achhhh…
Last edited by jturner; 05-19-2013 at 05:50 AM. Reason: I'm a geek
One other small thing. If you look closely at a map made by a native English speaker (for example here and here), 95% of the time the words in the map labels are either upper case (UPPER CASE) or title case (Title Case). Title case means that you capitalise the first letter of every word, except for mid-position prepositions (of, under, on), conjunctions (and, but, or), and articles (the, a, an). So, a native speaker tends to write ‘Castle of Silence’ (not ‘Castle of silence’ and not ‘Castle Of Silence’) and ‘The High Keep’ (not ‘the High Keep’ and not ‘The high keep’). ‘Tower of Sliced Chicken Breast on a Bed of Broccoli with Ginger and Lemon’ (not ‘Tower of sliced chicken’…ok, you get the idea). Again, here’s another summary.
This might be important if, for example, you wanted your maps published by a professional English-language publisher. Otherwise, they’ll be stunning whatever you do!
Anyway, sorry for the lengthy explanations. Being a teacher, it was hard to resist. (...I couldn't resist!?)
Last edited by jturner; 05-19-2013 at 05:46 AM.