It looks pretty good so far, the back story has some interesting twists. A couple of things that "caught my eye";
1) For me the colors are a little bright/over-saturated
2) The font doesn't seem to fit, you might consider something more formal or less hand-written looking - Perpetua Titling (I think) is one I often use
3) Maybe some kind of border around the edge
4) Perhaps do something with the white background - maybe a light, low-opacity greyish-blue so that it's not so stark.