Wow. Having tried to do things like this in the past, I must say that this looks like a big awful amount of work :-)

I read superficially the story, sorry (it's late here too), so I can't give a truthful opinion on it. Anyway, my VERY humble opinion about this is that it's well written, but it lacks focus. It's like you're telling me a lot of things, but I don't know about what story. You're making a great effort in building a setting, but I'd be more interested in the story that motivated it. The setting is important and must be well built, but without a story, it's not alive.

This is not really about cartography, so feel free to continue by private message. Please, notice that I'm trying not to discourage you, just to help. You remind me a lot to myself, building worlds for stories that never are told because they got lost among the work for the setting. I've been there a lot of times. I even created some languages. By the looks of it, you could be doing that soon, too :-)

So, to finish, my point is that you seem that you already have a very clear idea of what the setting is. Now you should be writing your story, and the setting will reveal itself.

Sorry for the rant :-)