The dictionary thing is a good idea. Google Translator (and others for that matter) often have a hard time with compensating for future, present and/or past tense. And, more often than not, if a word is significantly close to another, it might call up the wrong translation, i.e. "cabin" (as in, "he went to his log cabin") in English is often translated into the equivalent of "cockpit" in French rather than being translated into the equivalent of cottage.

Other than that, I agree with the others, the prose invokes some good imagery and a certain level of emotional response. I will also whole-heartedly agree with the idea that trying to write in something other than your native language is quite a challenge. Best of luck!

GW