Alright, I know I should've dropped by sooner, sorry I haven't.

I love your story. It gives the setting to explain what we're seeing. I like your choice of colors and your foggy overlay. The only real problems I see are that your "con"s are a bit repetitive, and your water. I think you might want to try a different approach than noise over it. Maybe try a black brush on multiply to low opacity? Something that will give a more smear, brown, dirty look rather than just noise/specks.