Oh yeah, That works so much better! Its coming along really well!
I don't see anything wrong at all, maybe you're just too hard on yourself?
I agree with bogie, maybe whatever you feel its wrong comes from the lack of colors and textures.

Let me two maps that I think have the same feel and style so you can look for inspiration when you hit a wall:
Arnay
Takauro

I did had more, but I don't remember the names. Ill post them here when I find it!

The castle from the other one was really promising, you should finished that one later, without the restraints