I'm going to buck the trend, and say I prefer the light text against the dark background, although I think it might look better if the smoke-like patches behind the text were bigger, and faded more gradually (as they are, I think they cling too closely to each stanza). The same is true of the light version, but less noticeably.

Regarding the hedge maze, I think the problem you currently have with the perspective is that it looks top down, while the mountains look isometric. The best way to give the maze an isometric perspective (and thus make it match the mountains better) you would need to make the paths going into the distance go at angles away from the viewer (i.e. the viewer is situated right in the middle of the bottom frame, and so the paths would look like they converge on that point--basic perspective/vanishing point stuff). Admittedly, though, making this change might involve a lot more work.

Also, just out of curiosity, if this is the land of sorrow, where does that landbridge in the bottom lead?

Lastly, you have a few minor spelling mistakes in your poem. 'Dieing' is 'dying' and I'm not sure what 'meleady' means; did you mean 'malady' or 'melody' or neither?

THW