November 2017 Challenge: Hunters Fall

[Mouse]

I think the labels are fine - but then I do have 20-20 full colour vision with my glasses on, and very unusually no astigmatism at all (at least, that's what my optician told me)

[Mark Oliva]

I'm hearing you. Though, I'm not exactly sure how to go about fixing it. As I can't perceive the problem myself, I don't know how to fix it. Does it need to be a different color, thicker font, or what do you suggest I do?

It depends upon what you want to have. If you want the labels to have only a subtle presence in your map, you've reached a good point. If you want everyone to be able to read them easily, use a light color for the text.

Servus,

[Meshon]

That sandstorm coming in looks excellently ominous, and I really like the border you've done, it all looks great!
Meshon

[XCali]

@ Mouse: Hehe. That's good. It is quite tricky for me to get to the bottom of the problem for ladiestorm as I can't see what she is talking about.

@ Mark Oliva: Yeah I want subtle, but at least readable.

@Meshon. Thanks! Both was me experimenting. So, I'm quite happy with them too.

[XCali]

Chapter 3: A memory of terror
~Tilma~

All the traps were silent. And from the dark, a small furry creature appeared. It had big ears and a half grin visible on its face. Tilma stared hard at the critter and a sudden warmth flitted through her heart.
“It is so cute!” She said softly.

The little creature was no more than a forearm long and its ears were almost as big as the body was. It stopped coming closer and scratched at its ear with a tiny paw. Tilma wanted to giggle as she walked closer. There was no way it could be dangerous. The critter distracted her completely from her reluctance to explore any further from just a moment ago.

Ten meters from the furry creature, it stopped and stared at her. Still, Tilma wanted to go closer.
But, with a hard pull, a hand jerked her back.
“No! Stop,” Stefon hissed and said, “I thought I had recognized it. It is a Banshee Vos.”
“A Banshee Vos?” Tilma asked puzzled.

Though he did not answer directly as he stared into the darkness. After a few seconds, he said,
“Do you remember the stories of the monsters that dwelt underground? They used to tell them to us to make sure we don’t go out after dark. I remember this…” He paused and a frown of concentration creased his forehead. It made Tilma shift nervously.
She watched as he placed a hand on his brow and then he spoke of something that scared her to her core.

“They scurry and scurry.
Yet they come like a harmless dog.
Though the fury of their screech
brings folly to those tricked by this vos.
Be wary, for when they scream,
they are not alone.
Be wary, for from the dark the quills
start their quivering run.”

Within seconds, Stefon’s whole face went pale. He turned to her and the fear on his features lanced into her.
“Scatter!” Stefon shouted with immediacy. “They are always around Quilled Skyurs!”

Those words terrified her, she jerked towards the Vos and it looked hungry. And as she turned to run, the most ear-numbing screech she had ever heard blanketed over them.
She fell to the ground as the horrible piercing sound reverberated through the air. All she could do was hold her ears. Her vision blurred at the pain. All her plans to run seemed so far off. She knew was screaming, but she couldn’t hear herself.

Then it stopped.

Her breath came in quick gulps as the pain from her ears rung like a bell. She flipped over and spotted Stefon curled up in a ball, also covering his ears. A few seconds passed before her warrior friend stirred and pressed his body to his knees.

Then from afar, loud rumblings thundered through the hallway that had gone silent so eerily when the traps had stopped. With it, an orchestra of clattering started and through her daze, she anxiously looked at Stefon who was fearfully staring back at her.
He scrambled from his crouched position and grabbed her arm. With a little effort, he plucked her to a standing position.
“Run!” He hissed at her before he swept away from the hallway.
Momentarily she wanted to get her torch. But Stefon shouted,
"Leave it if you want to live!"
With all her might she ran into the dark, leaving her torch behind. Every single story of Quilled Skyurs she ever heard were of extreme danger and precious few survivors.

She looked back and in the dark many hulking beasts lumbered past her firelight. Right where she had been only ten seconds back.

With tears as she ran, she knew they should never have opened the door...

--
--
EDIT: As previously, if there is a glaring mistake let me know. I only briefly proofread it.

EDIT2: The Banshee Vos(tiny little creature) is not the same creature as the one drawn into my border. That is a Sightless Fox, it is bigger than a person at the shoulder!

[XCali]

Hi!

I decided to add a little to the labels. So, hopefully, it is readable to all.

Then I fiddled with the shading for the trees and added a few burrows in the forest.

Okay, so, barring any glaring mistakes, I feel this is probably my final version. I'm leaving Thursday morning at 4 am God willing, and with the packing that needs to happen tomorrow, there is not going to be much time to make any last minute changes. So, I hope I don't need to.

Anyway, thank you so much for all the feedback. This was such a fun challenge!
I do hope you enjoyed my stories throughout the thread.

Have a wonderful day,
Omri

### Latest WIP ###

[ladiestorm]

If it helps any, I can now read the text just fine, no fade outs!

[XCali]

If it helps any, I can now read the text just fine, no fade outs!

Yay! That is good news.

I'm glad I was able to fix it before I left for holiday.