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Thread: February Entry: The Sanitorium

  1. #11

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    holy cow. body blow, body blow, body blow. lol.... let me see what I can do to fix some of all these errors. some very good catches, thx, ... body blow... doh

    Marc
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  2. #12

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    ok, made a bunch of changes. alot of grammer/spelling changes (thx for all of those catches). I probably still missed a few, but I also made alot of changes to the script. tried to be a little more descriptive of one of the main nutters. I also made the text a bit larger so that you didn't need as much light to read it (I hope). any who, for better or worse, I hope you enjoy it, Marc.

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  3. #13
    Guild Apprentice Datagoblin's Avatar
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    I fore wun voat 'Nay' on aneewun tryin ta stard up da speling poleese.

    Datagoblin
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  4. #14

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    What i just realize is, that you have only 13 people in the sanatorium, but the table is made for 16. Maybe you should delete some of the plates or include in your story, that there were guests.

  5. #15
    Guild Expert rdanhenry's Avatar
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    Maybe there are places for some inmates' imaginary friends?

  6. #16

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    There are often visitors of the patients who eat at the hospital. Thus they set out extra plates.
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  7. #17
    Community Leader Immolate's Avatar
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    May 2009
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    Crisp and easy to look at Davros. The only suggestion I have is to try to have the various layers interact more with each other. A little aging can go a long way, and the human brain more easily accepts things that are slightly imperfect.

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