It's better than the last one but still. I checked your other works on the forum and some where pretty good. In fact you are trully amazing with a pencil and If you want my suggestion it might be better that you stick with the other styles.

I really like these:
http://www.cartographersguild.com/fi...en-region.html
http://www.cartographersguild.com/fi...ort-oosra.html
http://www.cartographersguild.com/ma...isode-6-a.html
http://www.cartographersguild.com/fi...p-montage.html

I don't know what way you want to go but I think this style is a bad idea considering your drawing skills.